看到大家都成双成对，我很羡慕，同时也感到孤单；

知心的朋友一个都没有，要好的朋友一个都没有，能聊心事的朋友一个都没有；

当我遇到有趣的事、快乐的事、悲伤的事，很想与妳分享，但我不敢，怕妳觉得我很烦，毕竟我们没有那么地熟悉；

我想更进一步了解妳，努力地找话题，与妳倾谈，可是却是我很多句，妳只有一句。感觉好生疏。

我多么希望妳能与我有对话的互动；我不明白的是为什么不能像妳朋友们一样，无话不谈。

不过，感到欣慰的是妳还会回复我的信息。

说实话，我真的当下是有点吃醋（我没有资格，因为我又不是妳什么人）：
（1）溜冰的照片，我表弟的手好像握住妳的手。

（2）旅行途中，在chat time soho, 妳站在他旁边拍照。

haizz... 暗恋真的好辛苦。写完以上，我觉得我还是没有那么稳重。不过，我还在学习如何能成为她理想的男人。我很镇定地对自己说，不要和他比较，因为我自己也有特色(^.^)

顺其自然吧！（告诉自己）

4/11/2012
a brand new day for me as it is Sabbath.
didnt expect will see her in church because i thought she might go to another church.
quite happy and shock when i saw her sitting not far from me.
but, suddenly, a strange feeling flowing inside my heart.
i feel heart pain when i saw she is seating beside a guy.
what happened to me?
i kept asking myself what is this strange feeling?
jealous? irritating?
maybe...

my brain test results:
taken from :http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/results.shtml

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 The scale below is an indication of where you fall in the male-female brain continuum. The results are based on the angles, spot the difference, 3D shapes and words tasks. Bear in mind that your performance may be affected by many factors in addition to gender, like age and intelligence. Your personal brain score: Average score for MEN who've taken this survey: Average score for WOMEN who've taken this survey: If you are using a public PC we strongly advise you to print out and delete your results if you do not want anyone to see them. Part 1 Angles This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space. Your score: 14 out of 20 Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20 Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20 What does your result suggest? If you scored 0 - 12: You have more of a female brain. Scientists believe that people with a female brain find it more difficult to judge the slope of a line because they're not wired for spatial tasks. In past studies, 65 per cent of people who scored in this range were women. If you scored 13 - 17: You found this test neither hard nor easy. This suggests your brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability. If you scored 18 - 20: You have more of a male brain. On average, men outperform women in this task and those with more mathematical knowledge tend to score quite high as well. In past studies, 60 per cent of the people in this range were men. Interestingly, men's testosterone levels fluctuate through the seasons and studies have shown that men's scores are lower in the spring, when their testosterone levels are at their lowest. Do our cave dwelling ancestors offer us any clues about why men and women score differently on this task? Find out more. Spot the difference This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects. Your score: 71% Average score for men: 39% Average score for women: 46% What does your score suggest? If you scored between 0 - 33%: You may have more of a male brain. Scientists say men tend to under perform in this task. The corpus callosum, the part of the brain that links the right and left hemispheres, is a fifth larger in women. This means women can process visual and other signals at the same time more easily than men. There is also a theory that oestrogen levels in women give them an added advantage in spatial memory. If you scored between 34 - 66%: You may have a balanced female-male brain. If you scored between 67 - 100%: Those with a female-type brain generally score in this range. Your ability to remember where objects are may serve as an advantage to you when you're trying to find your way around places. You're more capable of recalling landmarks to get from one place to another. Find out more about our spatial abilities. back to top Part 2 Hands You said your left thumb was on top when you clasped your hands together. Right thumb on top: This suggests the left half of your brain is dominant. Many studies have tried to establish whether there is a relationship between handedness and brain dominance. Some scientists believe that if you are left brain dominant, you would be more verbal and analytical. Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorise that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes. However, these theories are debatable and leave much to be said about the small percentage of people who are ambidextrous. Find out why right-brained people may be better fighters and artists. back to top Part 3 Emotions and Systems This task looked at whether you prefer to empathise or systemise. Empathising Your empathy score is: 7 out of 20 Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20 Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20 What does your result suggest? Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising. Systemising Your systemising score is: 8 out of 20 Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20 Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20 What does your result suggest? Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising. Scientists are keen to learn more about people who score high or low on both tests. They want to find out whether or not empathising and systemising are linked. Is a possible to make yourself more empathic? Some scientists claim that our empathy and systemising abilities can be traced all the way back to prehistoric times. Find out more. Eyes This task tested your ability to judge people's emotions. Your score: 6 out of 10 Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10 Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10 What does your result suggest? If you scored 0 - 3: Do you think you're good at judging how another person is feeling? Your score suggests this doesn't come to you quite so naturally. If you scored 4 - 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people's emotions. If you scored 7 - 10: Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category. Professor Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge says that people usually perform better than they expect to on this test. Men often think a person's eyes are sending signals of desire when that's not the case at all. Find out more. back to top Part 4 Fingers We asked you to measure your ring and index fingers. Your ratios came to: Right Hand: 0.9 Left Hand: 0.9 Average ratio for men: 0.982 Average ratio for women: 0.991 It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same. Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length. Studies have found that men and women with lots of brothers generally have more masculine finger ratios. Find out what other things scientists think our ratios may tell us. back to top Part 5 Faces This task looked at how you rate the attractiveness of a series of faces. The images you looked at were digitally altered to create slight differences in masculinity. Your choices suggest you prefer more masculine faces. Highly masculinised male faces possess more extreme testosterone markers such as a long, broad and lower jaw, as well as more pronounced brow ridges and cheekbones. Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely. A typical 'attractive' female face possesses features such as a shorter, narrower, lower jaw, fuller lips and larger eyes than an average face. Are you surprised at what researchers think they can learn from your answers? Find out more. back to top Part 6 3D shapes This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes. Your score: 6 out of 12 Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12 Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12 What does your result suggest? If you scored 0 - 6: Do you find yourself having to physically rotate a map to point in the direction in which you're travelling? This might explain why you scored in the lower range in the 3D shapes test. Twice as many women as men score in this category. Previous studies suggest that those with a female-type brain or with an arts background fall into this range. If you scored 7 - 9: In past studies, 50 per cent of the people who scored in this range were women and 50 per cent were men. If you scored 10 - 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain. Nearly a third of men who took this test got full marks, whereas less than 10 per cent of women managed the same. Find out why. Words This task looked at your verbal fluency. Your score: you associated 10 word(s) with grey and you named 6 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct. Average score for men: 11.4 words total Average score for women: 12.4 words total What does your result suggest? If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words. If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain. Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone. Find out more . Ultimatum This task asked you how you would divide money. If you had to split £50 with someone, you said you would demand £25 So far on the Sex ID test, men have demanded 51.6% (£25.80) of the pot and women have demanded 51.0% (£25.50), on average. What does your response suggest? Sex differences are small in this task. Demanding less than 60% of the pot (ie £30) is more typically female. Demanding more than 65% of the pot (ie £32.50) is more typically male. Scientists believe that people with lower testosterone levels tend to take fewer risks so they are probably more willing to keep less for themselves. Those with higher testosterone levels tend to drive a harder bargain and are less compromising. Men's testosterone levels fluctuate over the seasons and are at their lowest levels during the springtime. This is said to influence their bargaining power. Find out more about the role of testosterone.

有时想要参与朋友们的聚会，但是不被邀请；
有时想要参与朋友们的运动，但是不被邀请；
曾经想要追求我喜欢的女生，但是怕被拒绝；
我承认我很懦弱，我无助，我爱面子；
暗恋真的很痛苦，又怕说出口了以后见面会尴尬；
守候，等待，有了行动，却被反嘲；
有时女人的心很难猜透；
痛苦呀！

祝大家中秋节快乐(^.^)
月圆大团圆
虽然身在海外，但是，却不忘还有这么一个值得庆祝的节日(^.^)
不论在哪里，月亮都一样，
八月十五的月亮永远是圆的

经过岁月和经验的累计，凡事把心中的秘密告诉朋友，准没有一件好事降临。
试过无数遍，全都泡汤了。。。
是我迷信吗？
不是，这是真的。。
所以，不管好友怎么逼问，我就会回答说：“还好啦；没有啦；有可能吗？”等等。。。
自己心里清楚就可以了。
不必把自己的私事到处宣扬，只怕好友是扩音器，怕全天下的人都不知道我的事。。。。
头疼啊！！！

wondering....wondering....wondering
what has made me wondering all the time?
what is the cause that i always facing failure in my confession?
maybe i should keep this in my heart!
whenever i told to my buddy or friend, all the plan will be ruined.
this time, no matter how they try to force me to say it out, i will keep my mouth shut^^
hide this secret into the bottom of my heart.

累了，就躲起来偷偷哭泣，

原来我还是那么重视我的朋友。

难道是我霸道？无礼？无能？

总觉得我们的友情回不到当初在念大学时期，

他去喝酒，我觉得他浪费钱，因为他会说我没有钱。

他去clubbing，我觉得他太会享受，因为他会说这是最后一次。

他有事找我帮忙，我会把他交代的事摆在第一优先，但是往往失望到底。

因为eq不好，所以只要不平衡，就会大骂。

他却说我把他名义损坏。

我很累阿， 

流眼泪是我最好的良药。因为哭完过后，还是要以一颗爱心来服侍朋友。

我累了，也没有人会理解。

这首歌不错听哦(^.^)
献给大家⋯(^.^)

挂我电话，岂有此理。没用的家伙！ 拨电话给他也不要接。 小气到要死。 原来。。。。 算了，这种朋友不要也罢。还说是好朋友。 我呸！

母亲节过了，父亲节要到了。
赶快给爸爸一个爱的抱抱(^.^)


祝福爸爸们健康快乐(^.^)

就算怎么发短讯给她，她偶而会回。。
这样的沟通，我觉得很累，像是双手在拍打空气（比喻）。
跟buddy 倾述我的问题后，他的一句话《sot sot de 你》。。。顿时把我打倒进谷底。
我后来想了想，最后决定还是把她当成朋友吧。。。
我不会再有所行动。。
或许我不喜欢没有互相互动的吧。
顺其自然吧。。。
先做她们两的朋友吧。。或许。。漫漫地。。。彼此的距离可以拉得更进(^.^)
祷告～～～

我的脑袋要想到爆了，这个女孩不错，另一个也不错。 一个已送花，另一个在脑袋里思考着。。。 收花的开朗吸引我，另一个的气质吸引我； 收花的与我沟通不多，另一个却很自然的沟通； 哪一个才适合我呢？

The Crowns are all beautiful^^
love them all...
glad that i can have a look at them.^^

什么东西掉了？
要拾起来吗？
把手掌放在心房，
哪里跌倒，就哪里站起来(^.^)

昨晚做了一个梦，实在是太恐怖了。
在梦里，我是个乡间的小孩。在一个女老师的家店外补习。
那天，应该是补习老师邀请我们一群学生们参加。
地点很特别，好像在巴刹。
桌椅都排在建筑物外。小孩子们都坐下来，准备补习课了。
老师站的地方就像储藏室（有点像储藏米的仓库）。
四周围都围满人。大家都觉得好奇为什么我们多坐在外面补着习。
突然见，老师不知发了什么神经，放了很多只鸡，她拿起木棍把很多鸡给打死了。
我的双眼看到有个在旁观看的欧巴桑拿起铁棍正把鸡给打死，老师像发疯似的破口大骂欧巴桑。
欧巴桑吓得落荒而跑。
这时，大家（小朋友们）已经吓呆了。如果没记错，小朋友里有些部分是我的现实朋友和亲戚，大部分是我不认识的。突然之间，老师停止动作，疯狂的大笑并命令我们（补习生们）在她面前排成一排直线。地板到处都是洒满鸡的血和遗体。闻了血腥味反倒想呕吐。我的身体不停我的使唤，它自己就去排队啦！！！天渐渐暗了，四周围的人潮也渐渐散了。奇怪的事是火把到处都被点燃，整个场所就像献祭坛。
老师的手染满的鸡血，瞪大眼睛说：“你们是我特别挑选的学生，你们应该感到荣幸得到我给你们的祝福！哈哈哈哈哈！！！哈哈哈哈！！”
她就扑向其中一个学生，用她那沾满鲜红的鸡血在学生的脸涂鸦。
下一个就是我。当她把双手扑向我的脸时，我看着她那可怕的眼珠，她也望着我，说：“别怕！我帮你在而头上画上666的符号！！哈哈h哈！”
好不容易，我就鼓起勇气，使不听我使唤的身体动起来。及时把老师的手推开，然后遮住我的额头。她不甘示弱，就强硬想把我的手推开，可是没有得逞，只好在我的人头旁画666.
正当她离开我的面前，我硬着头，相信我能动我的身体。此时，身体就能动了。
我连满大声对我朋友说：“快跑！！她是魔鬼！她要在你们的额头上画666！”
可是已经来不及了！大家脸上都留着泪，满脸都是血。

这时候，我就吓醒了。
好讨厌的感觉。
虽然不知这梦意味着什么。

很久没有做梦了～～～～

明天是她的生日(^.^)

很迫不及待想把礼物送到她手上

祝妳生日快乐。

不会包礼物的我只好把礼物包成像糖果一样。。哈哈哈。。

这是礼物的袋子(^.^) 可爱吗？

生日卡片
os：我觉得很口爱。。哈哈哈。。。

卡片里头有个地方，要用铅笔把它涂黑，会有四个字浮现出来。

《我喜欢妳》

好害羞哦，我觉得她应该不会发觉到(^.^)

还有，我在卡片里有揭晓情人节送花的那个人是我；

不知道为什么会送，只是跟着心走(^.^)

再一次对她说：生日快乐《21岁》