messy friendship life

i found that my friendship life so tired....
i wondering what had happened to me?
should i become the brand new character or change back my old personalities?
it is hard to maintain a terrible and quarrel everyday's friendship.
or maybe i treat friends too good or neither all, there will be jealous inside there.
what should i do?
treat them good bcos i think tis is my responsibility, BUT
something happen when i found out tat they will fall in love with me...
wow....i didnt know tat what i concern too much will let this happened.
this is out of my expectation.

Sometimes i do care about ppl said:" you are a gay but u pretend to be not." but i am not...i juz like to see handsome guy but i wont fall in love with them,juz admire only... is tat crazy for category me in gay circle? simple example, girl can look pretty girl and admire, but why can't guy look handsome plus man guy? is tat wrong?

i don't want lose any friends of mine. i hope i still can fix it up.
will try my very very best to make my friendship life circle work properly again.

T.T feel heart burning and pain.